The Discovery of Lotion

One day, out of the white waves of the dark blue ocean, crawled a crab as crusty as tectonic plates. As the crab walked on the grainy beach, exposed to the blistering rays of light, the crab’s exterior turned into ashes. For the longest time, this particular crab always had an issue with dry skin, which was as dry as the Atacama Desert and no less ashy than the bottom of a firebox. This crab was the spectacle of those around it. “Eww, I can’t stand the sight of such ashy skin,” bystanders would often say, giving looks no less dirty than the inside of a sewer. Every time the crab overheard such crabby comments, feelings of dejection deeper than the ocean from which the crab came would crawl under the crab’s skin.

Everywhere the crab went, a crop of onlookers turned toward the crustacean. From every corner, the crab would see the contorted faces of critical contemporaries. It mattered not if the crab was on a playground, grocery store, community park, or any other place out in public. The crab constantly received a copious number of criticisms that could cut a heart open like a knife. Although the crab had a tough exterior, said crab had a mushy interior. The crab was easily hurt.

This crab was a special crab. This was the only crab that had two legs and was bipedal; the only crab with hands and a neck; the only crab with hair; and finally, the only crab that had feelings. While all crabs have crusty bodies, only this crab had an ashy body. This crab was the only crab that has ever interacted directly with the public. Other crabs stay safely on the beach or in the ocean lest they be captured by predators and eaten right away or served on a dinner plate at some restaurant. Most crabs lack names. Some are named so that they can be identified for research. This crab was named right after birth. The crab is also the only crab to have received a formal education.

The crab’s name was Abigail. Abigail was a girl from a poor family. The precious little girl received all her clothes from a small thrift store. For breakfast, Abigail often ate knock-off brands of cereal; Fruity Dyno Bites instead of Fruity Pebbles; Honey & Out Blenders instead of Honey Nut Cheerios; Berry Colossal Crunch instead of Captain Crunch; and so on and so forth. Her lunch was often ketchup and mustard sandwiches. Indeed, two slices of bread. For dinner, she’d help herself to some oh so sweet dreams. When was the last time you were hungry while you slept?

Because she often wore raggedy clothes and had no lotion, Abigail looked like a peasant. Nevertheless, even true Medieval peasant children knew how to have fun. Kids are kids, after all. Abigail’s new favorite pastime was going to the beach. She loved being in the water. She had gone to the beach once with her friend Samantha, along with the latter’s parents. Being that Samantha and her parents have naturally oily skin, they hardly ever used lotion. Luckily for Abigail, Samantha’s parents took note of Abigail’s ashy skin. The next time the four left the beach, Samantha’s parents provided Abigail with some lotion. Upon lathering the smooth, soft substance on her skin, the crusty spots of sensation on her skin ceased to exist. This was the day that the special crab discovered lotion.

That said, before Abigail discovered lotion, someone must have invented it. Who? And when? A quick research session via a search engine will reveal that the first modern skincare cream was created in 1900 by a team of three people – Dr. Oscar Troplowitz, Dr. Paul Gerson Unna, and Dr. Isaac Lifschütz. However, lotion has existed since the B.C. era. The ancient Sumerians and Egyptians created lotion using natural ingredients. The ingredients used by the former were crushed plants and tree oil; the latter, milk, honey, castor oil, and herbs.

Nowadays, like many other products, lotion is made using more ingredients and in factories. Nonetheless, its purpose has remained the same throughout the millennia. Many people live in environments that are not conducive to skin health. Others, due to their DNA, have skin that easily becomes chapped, like the crab in the story above.